Sunday, January 28, 2018

Btti 2018 Recap Part 2


The Activities 


No House Rules

First of all think about every time you have played Cards Against Humanity, then forget about that.

I fundamentally don’t think CAH is a funny game. It gets old fast. It gets played out after a couple of rounds and really it’s an excuse to giggle at Zac saying naughty words and phrases.



This years set up was awkward, special thanks to the rain for making that possible. Teams were facing each other on a poorly lit small stage. No ocean waves as background noise, no lounge chairs, or sand between your toes. We did have spectator chairs placed in a semi-circle around the stage, which was really the buffet area. Speaking of the seating arrangement this set up somehow triggered fans to antagonize each other by moving their chairs in front of one another in an attempt to be as close as possible to the stage.


Side note: Hanson fans do not F#ck around when it comes to seating arrangements.

For the second year in a row, I found myself on stage. I don’t really get how this happened. Then again I don’t really understand the movie Inception either. Fortunately, Zac is an excellent game show host, his quick wit and touch of crass style can keep a rooms attention and have everyone laughing their blanks off.


Personally I’d like to think society as a whole considers intentionally stripping, to your underwear in front of Zac Hanson and a large crowd for the purpose of shock value very low on the funny scale. And like most, public flashing strikes a nerve. Did they believe this was going to be a fantastic gag? Was it a dare? Were they having a horrible hot flash that when Zac called their number the only way for survival was to only be in a bra and panties? (almost justifiable, almost). Was it possible she lacked so much self respect and respect for those present who didn't sign up for a strip tease?



I spend a lot of time trying to make sense of the things in my world. Often looking for explanations when they aren’t there. Inevitably I get so frustrated by the lack of answers. Like, why does my mother insist on calling the grocery store “the market.” Why do my clients not only notice when I’ve had Botox but comment on it as if to suggest before said Botox my face was spiraling towards being mistaken for a bag of prunes. Or Taylor’s hair in the 2014 BTTI pictures?

Theses are the world’s mysteries.

Side note: Incase your curious my answers were “Full Frontal Nudity” and “Kanye West.” Zac laughed.

Family Feud



I’m a thirty-COUGH-COUGH-something-COUGH-old and I still love playing board games. I’m not great at them, quit the opposite, this should be notable for anyone who ends up on a team with me. I can however decorate the snot out of a Christmas tree.

Being back in the buffet area to play Family Feud with Isaac packed full of fans and it should be mentioned someone must have caught on to the chair shenanigan from CAH because the chairs were in rows this time. I ended up standing in the back of the room leaning against a cabinet, my fault for stopping at the bar. A giant projector screen was to my left displaying the family feud board.

Side Note: According to the BTTI FB group Taylor made an appearance but via hiding in the bushes. Let's all take a second to picture that for a moment.
Now that you’re done laughing shall I continue?

As Isaac called my number he quickly realized what he had just done, in a rather snarky tone proceeded to tell the whole room over the microphone as I NOT in an obnoxious way cheered with excitement “ Ha ha just kidding, you got to play CAH with Zac yesterday.” How he knew this is still yet to be determined, nevertheless my cheer leading spirit quietly put down the spirit stick and thought this would be a good time to start on a third, fourth and fifth vodka and sprite to help forget what just happen.

After a few rounds Isaac ran out of numbers to call up on stage or should I say green team players still in the room. Out of desperation he picked Alice, Charlotte (Names are changed to protect them if this blog is ever brought up in court.) and me to finally come up for a round. Granted at this point the room was practically empty. Isaac was slightly offended and told us so.

As each player answered the question I seemed to have left my brain somewhere, probably with the bathing suit I couldn’t find when I was packing. What did come out in a rather proud voice was an answer that had already been on the board. UGH!

In my defense I couldn’t see the board from where I was sitting on the stage. We should have been able to discuss an answer, and it’s also possible I was taking selfies with “Alice” while on stage.
I hate flashes on camera's 
And with all preambles, I should be up front and tell you on my feedback form I did ask that Isaac pick a different activity, one more likely to hold a crowd’s attention and one you are allowed to cheer at.

Side Note: Isaac knew the rules this time at least!

Part three Coming Soon!
Part One