Friday, January 20, 2017

BTTI 2017 Recap



  


Instead of being an adult and saving for retirement I decided to travel to Jamaica to spend a week with Hanson. You could consider this a questionable life decision, but I think I spend way too much time doing entirely normal things. 


The Funny Thing 


Traveling to BTTI 2017 offers a near perfect stage for comical circumstances. The over packing, under packing, the “I hate my outfit choices” meltdown, unfamiliar surroundings, over paying for flights because I waited too long, being pissed that I lost a brand new pair of sunglasses before even leaving the country and having a few  "UH-OH" moments as the plane took off. 

     

 

 I had a mission.


I'm not sure what I expected this year, a couple of times I didn't even want to go. I really needed Hanson to musically romance me, so to speak, I needed the band to remind me why, why I have spent the last 10 years traveling pretty steady all over the world to see them play, why I keep buying their records and why won't Zac answer my pms. (Hey, you get 3 blobs of shame and then will talk about rational thinking.) 


     

 

Baby Just Give Me a Sign 


Running late down the stairs from my room, night one, I could hear a familiar sound coming from the beach. The sound of a spiritual place where profound soul searching happens and existential crises are explored and resolved in a two hour period, it was the sound of live Hanson show. 


I removed my flip flops and stepped on the beach where the  stage had been set up, I looked around trying to find the rest of the squad and I don't know if it was a combo of the mudslides and white wine but an unexpected thing happen, almost instantly,  


Best way I can describe the moment is I'm the grinch and all these happy memories began to flood in, as I heard Hanson play “The Ugly Truth” and I began to grow a heart. As the show progressed somewhere between the U2 cover and “I Believe in A Thing Called Love” I totally forgot just what was making me feel so disconnected to their music and that I must have been having temporary insanity .


Side note : We arrived a day before BTTI started and still managed to run late night one of the shows. I like to call that kind of tardiness a hidden talent. 


Ending the night on a high and a little stumbling back to my room the thought crossed my mind of something I read a while go "the real magic is in the music".


   

 

 Hot Tub & Tears


Let's get things clear: I hate being vulnerable and I hate crying. I'd rather rub my eyes with sand paper if it meant I could avoid the whole subject. 


Side note : My friend has tried to convince me holding hands and crying during a Hanson show was a normal thing. I told her she was nuts. 


Then Isaac's solo show happen and I found myself breaking every single one of my personal Hanson show rules and holding hands and crying with my friends. 

By the time he finished with a cover of “Hallelujah/Amazing Grace” one thing was inevitable: For someone who hates feelings, in that brief time span I felt every one possible. I was on a euphoric high and it wasn't the alcohol talking either. 


At the end of the night my friends and I made our way to a somewhat hidden hot tub by the Bling nightclub to soak our feet and reminisce about 90's music. 

 

 

I Tried To Tie Dye 


I suck at tie dyeing and I also suck at bracelet making. In no way is a store on Etsy in my near future. So when Zac came over to lend some words of encouragement I thought oh boy I'm about to prove that someone being terrible at crafts two years in a row is a real thing ...plus it’s not like there is pressure letting Zac Hanson judge your tie dyeing, right? 


Zac came back to give his verdict once I was finished saying "I like that you added the black at the bottom" ( it was suppose to be navy blue). Maybe someday I'll wow him, but let's be real: until they add Christmas tree decorating to the activities list I'm not going to hold my breath. 


I'll blame the fact that I can't remember the last time Zac was so nice to me, so it threw me off guard and that's the real reason my tie dying wasn't up to par. Can we go with that? 


Meanwhile Isaac and Taylor held a selfie session. Which, come on people, it's beyond the point of the activity and really took away from the whole experience. 

It made it impossible to get to the dye I wanted because a certain Hanson had a massive crowd around them blocking the table that happen to be the only table with the light blue dye. 

  

 

It's Anybody's Guess 


The night of Cards Against Humanity my expectations were very low that I'd ever make it on stage. After several rounds and Zac making everyone laugh till it hurt saying phrases like "Jiz hands" instead of Jazz hands, "balls on my face " and "penis" multiple times in a row or my personal fav "I drink to forget bitches",  I was starting to get a forgotten fish fingers in the back of a 1985 fridge buzz, my subconscious started to take over and I started  thinking I really want on that stage, but it will never happen. When 125 got called I jumped up, drink in hand and jogged to the stage. Was that even my number? I was scared to look down at my pass for fear I was having a drunk dyslexic moment. It was, thankfully. 


Side note : You know how everyone wonders if the guys can see us from the stage. I'm here to bare witness that not only can they really see us but clearly. Now I'll be re-thinking my whole hand gesture dance moves during a live show choreo.  


My Cards Against Humanity hand was terrible and I never got my card picked but I really couldn’t have care less. I was playing Cards Against Humanity with Zac trying to look sober while simultaneously waving to my friends in the crowd like I had just been called to ‘come on down you’re the next contestant on the Price is Right’ style .

 

 

Side note : There isn't much I can say about Family feud other than I'm not sure what game Isaac was playing but that wasn't Family Feud.(That's Kristie on stage trying to cheat with Taylor) 


 

You had one job 


I have discussed this before in previous blogs, never in my life will I instantly regret an outfit choice, think of something way more witty to say after the fact or suddenly forget my first name then the moment I get a picture taken with all three members of Hanson. I even took a couple of shots trying to calm the nerves but what I really should have taken was a Xanax. 


Things couldn't get more  awkward when I assumed Isaac was going in for a handshake, instead he faked me out pulling me in and giving me a big hug. I was dizzy after that (not in a low blood sugar way either) and the events that followed were so hazy I'm only piecing together what I think happened next. 


Moving on to say hi to Zac and Taylor, I  don't have much recollection of even asking to give them a hug or even saying hi, I just took the crumb Isaac offered and ran with it thinking "ISAAC DID IT FIRST" After the picture was taken and some teasing banter with the guys was exchanged, I met up with friends whose assignment was to snap pictures from the side lines of every minute during my time with Hanson. 

I started scrolling through pictures hoping someone snapped a shot of me hugging Taylor so I'd have real proof that I was that brave. Ah yes there it was the golden ticket !I started to pridefully giggle then I quickly noticed something weird, so I enlarged the picture and that's when I saw it. Taylor was making an awkward "This chick has cooties" face. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. He couldn't even fake it for the entire 3 seconds? The man who's made a career out of selling emotion couldn't even come up with a pat on the back buddy hug face? 


As you can imagine I was pretty shattered. All I thought was "Great! I'm the fan who grossed out Taylor Hanson by hugging him, perfect". 


Before I continue, don't even ask to see the pictures it will never see the light of day. And believe me, he is making an awkward face. 

I've since harassed friends, polled co-workers and blown the image up so big the pixels got sore feet shrinking back just to see that it really happen. 


Side note: To the select few who have seen it, know this: I own duct tape and will find you if you share it. 


After I scraped myself off the sidewalk, we spent the day laying on the beach and doing a few water activities in the pool. 

Getting ready for the last show , after party and banquet I was determined to shake off what had happened earlier get really drunk and have a amazing last night. 

  

 

What A Night 


We drank, laughed and danced even though the playlist was terrible. From the pictures I found on my phone the next day I think I took more pictures with people than Taylor or Isaac did that night. 

 


Side note : If you see me attempt a Slayer face before a picture stop me. 


    

 


Highlighted Moments  


The sketchy hotel bar we ate at before leaving Houston.

Only putting sunscreen on the front of my body.

“The Ugly Truth” (I have been campaigning for them to play this song for what has seemed like years) 

White wine, red strip , mudslides, Jamaican kiss, Bloody Mary spicy etc etc 

Isaac solo show 

Zac singing go 

“Breaktown” (The one time Taylor made me geek out during his set) 

Chasing Bexs down during the banquet to express my admiration for her photography skills....in a non-sober state. 

Words of wisdom from Zac during tie dying 

Filling up my iCloud storage 

LED headbands 

Pepsi or Coke 

Isaac's new girlfriend 

Paolarazzi 

The shows exceeding my expectations 

Taking two days to get home 

 


Verdict : BTTI is for those of us who love a band so much we skip out on adulting just to spend a week in Jamaica just to see them play. 


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