Btti 2018 Recap Part 2

The Activities 

No House Rules

First of all think about every time you have played Cards Against Humanity, then forget about that.

I fundamentally don’t think CAH is a funny game. It gets old fast. It gets played out after a couple of rounds and really it’s an excuse to giggle at Zac saying naughty words and phrases.

This years set up was awkward, special thanks to the rain for making that possible. Teams were facing each other on a poorly lit small stage. No ocean waves as background noise, no lounge chairs, or sand between your toes. We did have spectator chairs placed in a semi-circle around the stage, which was really the buffet area. Speaking of the seating arrangement this set up somehow triggered fans to antagonize each other by moving their chairs in front of one another in an attempt to be as close as possible to the stage.

Side note: Hanson fans do not F#ck around when it comes to seating arrangements.

For the second year in a row, I found myself on stage. I don’t really get how this happened. Then again I don’t really understand the movie Inception either. Fortunately, Zac is an excellent game show host, his quick wit and touch of crass style can keep a rooms attention and have everyone laughing their blanks off.

Personally I’d like to think society as a whole considers intentionally stripping, to your underwear in front of Zac Hanson and a large crowd for the purpose of shock value very low on the funny scale. And like most, public flashing strikes a nerve. Did they believe this was going to be a fantastic gag? Was it a dare? Were they having a horrible hot flash that when Zac called their number the only way for survival was to only be in a bra and panties? (almost justifiable, almost). Was it possible she lacked so much self respect and respect for those present who didn't sign up for a strip tease?

I spend a lot of time trying to make sense of the things in my world. Often looking for explanations when they aren’t there. Inevitably I get so frustrated by the lack of answers. Like, why does my mother insist on calling the grocery store “the market.” Why do my clients not only notice when I’ve had Botox but comment on it as if to suggest before said Botox my face was spiraling towards being mistaken for a bag of prunes. Or Taylor’s hair in the 2014 BTTI pictures?

Theses are the world’s mysteries.

Side note: Incase your curious my answers were “Full Frontal Nudity” and “Kanye West.” Zac laughed.

Family Feud

I’m a thirty-COUGH-COUGH-something-COUGH-old and I still love playing board games. I’m not great at them, quit the opposite, this should be notable for anyone who ends up on a team with me. I can however decorate the snot out of a Christmas tree.

Being back in the buffet area to play Family Feud with Isaac packed full of fans and it should be mentioned someone must have caught on to the chair shenanigan from CAH because the chairs were in rows this time. I ended up standing in the back of the room leaning against a cabinet, my fault for stopping at the bar. A giant projector screen was to my left displaying the family feud board.

Side Note: According to the BTTI FB group Taylor made an appearance but via hiding in the bushes. Let's all take a second to picture that for a moment.

Now that you’re done laughing shall I continue?

As Isaac called my number he quickly realized what he had just done, in a rather snarky tone proceeded to tell the whole room over the microphone as I NOT in an obnoxious way cheered with excitement “ Ha ha just kidding, you got to play CAH with Zac yesterday.” How he knew this is still yet to be determined, nevertheless my cheer leading spirit quietly put down the spirit stick and thought this would be a good time to start on a third, fourth and fifth vodka and sprite to help forget what just happen.

After a few rounds Isaac ran out of numbers to call up on stage or should I say green team players still in the room. Out of desperation he picked Alice, Charlotte (Names are changed to protect them if this blog is ever brought up in court.) and me to finally come up for a round. Granted at this point the room was practically empty. Isaac was slightly offended and told us so.

As each player answered the question I seemed to have left my brain somewhere, probably with the bathing suit I couldn’t find when I was packing. What did come out in a rather proud voice was an answer that had already been on the board. UGH!

In my defense I couldn’t see the board from where I was sitting on the stage. We should have been able to discuss an answer, and it’s also possible I was taking selfies with “Alice” while on stage.

I hate flashes on camera's 

And with all preambles, I should be up front and tell you on my feedback form I did ask that Isaac pick a different activity, one more likely to hold a crowd’s attention and one you are allowed to cheer at.

Side Note: Isaac knew the rules this time at least!

Part three Coming Soon!
Part One

BTTI 2018 Recap Part 1

There are places that can communicate their therapeutic potential at first glance. Meliá Braco Village Jamaica, in the pouring rain, isn’t one of them. And considering how much the rain ruined parts of the trip, I’m inclined to leave my thoughts about the rain short and sweet and monosyllabic (This must be how the Kardashians feel). 

Upon opening the door to our room with these niffy bracelets room keys.
I walked in into the room and almost started jumped up and down. “OMG I HAVE MY OWN BED!!! HANSON LOVES ME” followed by “Did someone get drunk then design this bathroom?” 

I'm guessing the bathroom design abomination on the non level rooms was to remove the annoying parts of resort life. Such as space to curl your hair before your picture with Hanson, hot water, a closet that doesn’t leak and not falling into the wall when you try to pull your pants up after using the bathroom. 

But guess what? Theres a white fully robe on the back of the door, I think resort puts the robes in your room as a distraction so you'll forget about having to do a voodoo dance to get hot water out of the shower and that first nights show getting canceled.

The Adventure Begins

I have an outstanding idea for a horror movie. 


It was a rainy evening in Jamaica, a couple walks into a bar, for casting purposes lets say the man is tall with sandy blonde hair, scruffy and handsome, Ryan Reynolds will play him. And the women will be played by me.


(SHUT UP IT’S MY BLOG). 



As the couple approaches the bar to get a drink, the man’s toned arm flexes against his Paul Smith gingham print shirt, which he paired with Levis denim and a pair of convers. The women is wearing (Oh no one cares what the women is wearing, it will end up crumbled on the floor in the room in the movie anyways after a gratuitous sex scene.)




Wait, where was I? I have completely lost my train of thought.

,


OH- horror movie! Right. 



So the woman in her peripheral vision spots Isaac Hanson in the corner surrounded by a zombie-esque mob holding their phones in camera mode. Cut to a wide angle shot of the women leaning against the door way of the bar, one that doesn’t make her butt look big, as the well dressed man walks towards her he thinks how adorable she looks as the moon light illuminates her not frizzy from the humidity hair. Also she is a super accomplished and all her pants fit. (This is what movie people call “Subtext”) 

 As they look around they see Zac and Taylor Hanson escaping from a club and a steel drum show with group of aggressive armature paparazzi predators following from behind. Suddenly there’s a blood-curdling scream, the man is confused for a moment, until finally he figures it out. The woman realized she doesn’t have her phone. SHIT! She left it in the room to charge.

Horrified he starts looking for his phone. He remembers it’s in the room too! He takes off running back to get their phones. How would they survive without a selfie with Hanson? How would they ever be able to show their faces in the fandom again?  

Running as fast as he can, in the rain, that according to the locals was the most they’d seen in 60 years, he reaches their room with two beds, brusts through the door like Captain America with the use of his bracelet room key instead of a shield. While reaching for their phones on the night stand, he slips in a puddle caused by a leaky closet. But his 6-pack abs and strong legs help stop his fall.

 By the time he makes it back to the bar he pauses, out of breath, only to witness the back of a golf cart driving off with Hanson. He falls to the ground on his knees and screams “NO!” realizing this trip was going to be one long, depressing SNL sketch. The expression on his face fluctuating between apathy and anger, the woman rushes to his side falling to her knees next to him in defeat. Fade to black. 

The point incase you missed it, was this year the band couldn’t even walk into a bar to mingle with their fans with out a phone and or camera being shoved in their face. More than normal, and also I neglected to figure out where the sex scene should go. (That can always be addressed in the re write).




Night Two 

Betrayed by the weather gods, there was a new location for the show announced and it wasn’t going to be on the beach. Reluctantly, like the good fan I am, I rearranged show outfits to accommodate. 

In the time spent as a Hanson music enthusiast there are certain aspects of fan life you learn to embrace. The band will always be late, there will always be someone watching the show through a tiny screen and things will never go the way you expected no matter how much preparation. 

At the risk of stating something that may or may not already be obvious, I was not happy. So why am I bringing this up? Because if I wanted to see Hanson in a hot room with a glitchy sound system, bar in a separate location on a low stage, I would have seen them more on tour and for a lot less money. No I was in Jamaica and shitty nights in a packed venue were against the rules of vacation.

At some point in the night I did end up getting into the show realizing it would be the easiest path. I still bitched, but I tried to make the best of what someone who is 5’3 and a half was able to see.

Solo Shows


Zac

Zac’s set was a bit of a blur. Not from being intoxicated, although that would have made his set a lot more fun. But all the songs played sounded so similar. None of the freshness and creativity I’m use to him bringing to his Jamaica solo set we’re present. The air on stage was two more minutes and he gets to go back to whatever video game on pause was waiting for him. 

There was Letters In The Mailbox, which was one of the first songs I ever heard live at a MOE in 2008. I remember once on the Anthem tour, during a walk over hearing a guy asking Zac to play the song declaring it was his very favorite. As to which Zac politely replied that he’ll “try”. It wasn’t played that night, funny how moments like that stick in your mind. If only that guy had been in Jamaica he would have probably said “ About time! I’ve only waited 5 years”. 


Fun Fact: The spray tan I got prior to leaving Dallas had clung to the bottom of my newly pedicured feet. Painfully I was aware that every time I stood on my tiptoes to see there was a chance someone was going to tap me on the shoulder to ask if what was on the bottom of my feet was contagious. Money well spent, clearly.

Magic Mike III

Unless your living in a Buddhist temple, and don’t have a social media account you know about Taylor stripping down to his tank top and jeans? But removed his socks? Then taking everyone on a group swim in the middle of his solo set. 

When he came back on stage the glaring question was “what now?” How was it even possible to top that?  And if you have read my blog and your IQ is higher than 5 you know I’m Taylor girl. Make no mistake though, I detest with a passion, when fans throw up love bubbles for rock stars all over their posts. 

Now that I got that disclaimer out of the way, read the next sentence at your own risk:

The distraction of Taylor in a wet white tank top was better than  Tatum Channing in Magic Mike. OK I’m done.

Side note: A flip-flop was harmed, almost dropped my phone in the water all while following Taylor and his harem into the ocean. Big thank you do the chick in yellow that day for saving my phone and letting me use her arm for balance.



Isaacs Show 

Sadly his set was reminiscent of the past back to the islands I’ve attended, minus the amazing grace number from last year. He filled the void in the novelty department, but just as repetitive and similar sounding as Zac’s set. His usual charm and showmanship were absent and replaced by his “wing it” style. 

Now I know in the courtroom of the internet, any dislike for something Hanson does that’s less than perfect will be blamed on me, regardless of how many overly flattering blogs I’ve written about this band, it won’t matter. I’ve put in writing, real criticism towards Hanson.

Side Note: We as the super fans of this band need a re do on our entire fandoms attitude and stop hating another fan who disagrees with you and seeing them as offensive and must be thrown in a social dungeon.    

Taylor at our table

Tie Dying 

Looking up to see Taylor walking directly to your table invokes many emotions. Was he lost? Draw the short straw? Was the sun in his eyes obstructing his vision? 

He must have stayed at our table for a good 10-15 mins before a group of paparazzi predators emerged demanding his attention. Before that he was very charming and talkative even threw some witty banter in the conversation. By the time he left I was convinced someone must have told him everyone at my table only had 1 week to live and it was our dying wish to tie-dye with Taylor. 

Tie Dying Area

In the distance Isaac was planted in one location talking to a small group. He never came over but I had really low expectations before the event started so it didn’t bother me. I did mange to flag down Zac as he was coming towards the main platform to announce the end of the event. Eagerly I waited to show him my shirt. He must have been informed about my tables dying wish because when I showed him my shirt he said, “You nailed it this year”. He so polite. 


Part 2 coming soon!

BTTI 2017 Recap

  

Instead of being an adult and saving for retirement I decided to travel to Jamaica to spend a week with Hanson. You could consider this a questionable life decision, but I think I spend way too much time doing entirely normal things. 

The Funny Thing 

Traveling to BTTI 2017 offers a near perfect stage for comical circumstances. The over packing, under packing, the “I hate my outfit choices” meltdown, unfamiliar surroundings, over paying for flights because I waited too long, being pissed that I lost a brand new pair of sunglasses before even leaving the country and having a few  "UH-OH" moments as the plane took off. 

     

 

 I had a mission.

I'm not sure what I expected this year, a couple of times I didn't even want to go. I really needed Hanson to musically romance me, so to speak, I needed the band to remind me why, why I have spent the last 10 years traveling pretty steady all over the world to see them play, why I keep buying their records and why won't Zac answer my pms. (Hey, you get 3 blobs of shame and then will talk about rational thinking.) 

     

 

Baby Just Give Me a Sign 

Running late down the stairs from my room, night one, I could hear a familiar sound coming from the beach. The sound of a spiritual place where profound soul searching happens and existential crises are explored and resolved in a two hour period, it was the sound of live Hanson show. 

I removed my flip flops and stepped on the beach where the  stage had been set up, I looked around trying to find the rest of the squad and I don't know if it was a combo of the mudslides and white wine but an unexpected thing happen, almost instantly,  

Best way I can describe the moment is I'm the grinch and all these happy memories began to flood in, as I heard Hanson play “The Ugly Truth” and I began to grow a heart. As the show progressed somewhere between the U2 cover and “I Believe in A Thing Called Love” I totally forgot just what was making me feel so disconnected to their music and that I must have been having temporary insanity .

Side note : We arrived a day before BTTI started and still managed to run late night one of the shows. I like to call that kind of tardiness a hidden talent. 

Ending the night on a high and a little stumbling back to my room the thought crossed my mind of something I read a while go "the real magic is in the music".

   

 

 Hot Tub & Tears

Let's get things clear: I hate being vulnerable and I hate crying. I'd rather rub my eyes with sand paper if it meant I could avoid the whole subject. 

Side note : My friend has tried to convince me holding hands and crying during a Hanson show was a normal thing. I told her she was nuts. 

Then Isaac's solo show happen and I found myself breaking every single one of my personal Hanson show rules and holding hands and crying with my friends. 

By the time he finished with a cover of “Hallelujah/Amazing Grace” one thing was inevitable: For someone who hates feelings, in that brief time span I felt every one possible. I was on a euphoric high and it wasn't the alcohol talking either. 

At the end of the night my friends and I made our way to a somewhat hidden hot tub by the Bling nightclub to soak our feet and reminisce about 90's music. 

 

 

I Tried To Tie Dye 

I suck at tie dyeing and I also suck at bracelet making. In no way is a store on Etsy in my near future. So when Zac came over to lend some words of encouragement I thought oh boy I'm about to prove that someone being terrible at crafts two years in a row is a real thing ...plus it’s not like there is pressure letting Zac Hanson judge your tie dyeing, right? 

Zac came back to give his verdict once I was finished saying "I like that you added the black at the bottom" ( it was suppose to be navy blue). Maybe someday I'll wow him, but let's be real: until they add Christmas tree decorating to the activities list I'm not going to hold my breath. 

I'll blame the fact that I can't remember the last time Zac was so nice to me, so it threw me off guard and that's the real reason my tie dying wasn't up to par. Can we go with that? 

Meanwhile Isaac and Taylor held a selfie session. Which, come on people, it's beyond the point of the activity and really took away from the whole experience. 

It made it impossible to get to the dye I wanted because a certain Hanson had a massive crowd around them blocking the table that happen to be the only table with the light blue dye. 

  

 

It's Anybody's Guess 

The night of Cards Against Humanity my expectations were very low that I'd ever make it on stage. After several rounds and Zac making everyone laugh till it hurt saying phrases like "Jiz hands" instead of Jazz hands, "balls on my face " and "penis" multiple times in a row or my personal fav "I drink to forget bitches",  I was starting to get a forgotten fish fingers in the back of a 1985 fridge buzz, my subconscious started to take over and I started  thinking I really want on that stage, but it will never happen. When 125 got called I jumped up, drink in hand and jogged to the stage. Was that even my number? I was scared to look down at my pass for fear I was having a drunk dyslexic moment. It was, thankfully. 

Side note : You know how everyone wonders if the guys can see us from the stage. I'm here to bare witness that not only can they really see us but clearly. Now I'll be re-thinking my whole hand gesture dance moves during a live show choreo.  

My Cards Against Humanity hand was terrible and I never got my card picked but I really couldn’t have care less. I was playing Cards Against Humanity with Zac trying to look sober while simultaneously waving to my friends in the crowd like I had just been called to ‘come on down you’re the next contestant on the Price is Right’ style .

 

 

Side note : There isn't much I can say about Family feud other than I'm not sure what game Isaac was playing but that wasn't Family Feud.(That's Kristie on stage trying to cheat with Taylor) 

 

You had one job 

I have discussed this before in previous blogs, never in my life will I instantly regret an outfit choice, think of something way more witty to say after the fact or suddenly forget my first name then the moment I get a picture taken with all three members of Hanson. I even took a couple of shots trying to calm the nerves but what I really should have taken was a Xanax. 

Things couldn't get more  awkward when I assumed Isaac was going in for a handshake, instead he faked me out pulling me in and giving me a big hug. I was dizzy after that (not in a low blood sugar way either) and the events that followed were so hazy I'm only piecing together what I think happened next. 

Moving on to say hi to Zac and Taylor, I  don't have much recollection of even asking to give them a hug or even saying hi, I just took the crumb Isaac offered and ran with it thinking "ISAAC DID IT FIRST" After the picture was taken and some teasing banter with the guys was exchanged, I met up with friends whose assignment was to snap pictures from the side lines of every minute during my time with Hanson. 

I started scrolling through pictures hoping someone snapped a shot of me hugging Taylor so I'd have real proof that I was that brave. Ah yes there it was the golden ticket !I started to pridefully giggle then I quickly noticed something weird, so I enlarged the picture and that's when I saw it. Taylor was making an awkward "This chick has cooties" face. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. He couldn't even fake it for the entire 3 seconds? The man who's made a career out of selling emotion couldn't even come up with a pat on the back buddy hug face? 

As you can imagine I was pretty shattered. All I thought was "Great! I'm the fan who grossed out Taylor Hanson by hugging him, perfect". 

Before I continue, don't even ask to see the pictures it will never see the light of day. And believe me, he is making an awkward face. 

I've since harassed friends, polled co-workers and blown the image up so big the pixels got sore feet shrinking back just to see that it really happen. 

Side note: To the select few who have seen it, know this: I own duct tape and will find you if you share it. 

After I scraped myself off the sidewalk, we spent the day laying on the beach and doing a few water activities in the pool. 

Getting ready for the last show , after party and banquet I was determined to shake off what had happened earlier get really drunk and have a amazing last night. 

  

 

What A Night 

We drank, laughed and danced even though the playlist was terrible. From the pictures I found on my phone the next day I think I took more pictures with people than Taylor or Isaac did that night. 

 

Side note : If you see me attempt a Slayer face before a picture stop me. 

    

 

Highlighted Moments  

● The sketchy hotel bar we ate at before leaving Houston.

● Only putting sunscreen on the front of my body.

● “The Ugly Truth” (I have been campaigning for them to play this song for what has seemed like years) 

● White wine, red strip , mudslides, Jamaican kiss, Bloody Mary spicy etc etc 

● Isaac solo show 

● Zac singing go 

● “Breaktown” (The one time Taylor made me geek out during his set) 

● Chasing Bexs down during the banquet to express my admiration for her photography skills....in a non-sober state. 

● Words of wisdom from Zac during tie dying 

● Filling up my iCloud storage 

● LED headbands 

● Pepsi or Coke 

● Isaac's new girlfriend 

● Paolarazzi 

● The shows exceeding my expectations 

● Taking two days to get home 

 

Verdict : BTTI is for those of us who love a band so much we skip out on adulting just to spend a week in Jamaica just to see them play. 

The Over Analyzation of PLAY

Before "PLAY" gets voted prom queen and floats away on a pink satin cloud, I decided to read into every metaphor, every cryptic message hidden on the EP, present thoughtful and complicated ideas, link every hint of symbolism to politics and world events.

*PSHHHH I'm just going to make snaky comments and act all annoyed and arrogant like I could write better songs.

KIDDING !!!

I did listen to "Play" multiple times trying to form a opinion before I wrote this. Do I hate it? Is it good? Am I required as a fan club member to think ever Hanson record is mind blowing? Will I be escorted from building if I don't? 

After a significant amount of deep meditation and outside consulting with my trusted fellow fan advisers a judgement was passed. 

For those "Shout It Out" lovers "Play offers a continuation, for those lovers of "Anthem" it's companion "Loud" will most likely be your preference. 

(I've never been shy about my dislike for "Shout It Out" so keep that in perspective as you keep reading.)

 "Play" while there's reminisce of sounds and tones of early Hanson, the guitar parts at times sound drunk. 

The only bright moment on the EP is "Feeling Alive", turns out it's the best source of pointless intellectualizing worthy enough for those of us who aren't clogging Facebook with cat memes. The song reads like an inner monologue, disconnected but intriguing. It's pulled together by Taylor distinctive vocals, a minimalists build up and intense come down.This first person narrative tells the story of why playing music is so important to the narrator, it's when he feels alive all wrapped up into one cohesive statement.

 It occurred to me the "narrator" in "Feeling Alive" is having the same issue as the one in "Stop Me In My Tracks". Both fear not feeling alive and this is something missing from their ordinary life, regardless of being a performer.

This led me down a rabbit hole of thought, does Hanson finally have enough adult experience to speak about deeper topics? I might need to see some I.D.'s. 

At least "Do You Believe In Love" and "Joyful Noise" showcases Zac's signature soaring vocals and is comforting waxy cheer on the surface but both songs fall short when they become a repetitive song that ends up playing on a loop at a team Zac dance party. 

I can say because I love pop music I gave "Man On Top" and "Freak Out" a fighting chance, hoping these squeaky clean lasting about a minute to long songs would grow on me. I'm still hopeful. 

"Play's" dynamics do reinforce Hanson's ability to write a catchy pop hook. If Play is any indication of what's ahead for Hanson musically, a first time listener might want to experience one of their live shows first, before diving into this EP.

Verdict: This EP is for people who don't like anything extreme and have a short attention span.

BTTI 2016

I flew out of DFW around 12pm, my fight was comfortable and not very crowded, and I had the whole row on the plane to myself. I felt like I was flying first class minus the hot towel and boarding group number. 

After downing a couple of Baileys in coffee, the plane landed in Jamaica and I made my way through immigration, relieved to find my luggage had made it before proceeding to get lost in the airport trying to find the transportation to the resort. Finally I found the bus I was supposed to take and was greeted by a older gentleman with a thick Jamaican accent who loaded up my luggage and directed me to the bus to find a seat.  

Side note: What is it about getting on a bus I’m suddenly transported back to grade school looking around at the seats hoping to spot a familiar face so I don’t have to be that person saying “ Is this seat taken” . Lucky for me I found an empty row!

I had assumed the bus would be full of fans but it seems there were only a few of us, I instantly met three lovely ladies whose names I can’t remember but who were as excited as I was to get to the resort! The drive was long and boring, I was jetlagged and hungry so that didn’t probably make me an ideal passenger. 

After checking in I went to find my friends and enjoy food, good conversation fueled by Bob Marley drinks. Before the show later that night I ran to my room to change out of my traveling clothes to get comfortable for a night of standing on a beach in Jamaica listening to Hanson play.

Is This Real Life?

With the ocean in the back ground sand between my toes holding a frozen something, I decided Hanson could have not played a single note and I could have cared less: I was living the dream at that moment.

The guys that night seemed to be in such a good mood as the show kicked off and the concert ended with a bonfire/cook-out on the beach.  Sure, they could have not played it so safe with the set list - this was a fan club event; and yes, they could have played a lot of deep cuts, but I just figure not everyone is at the same number of shows or at the same level in the fandom that I am. Also “ If Only “ live never gets old. 

Favorite Drinks Day 1:

Bob Marley’s 

Dirty Banana 

Pina  Colada 

Lemon Drop Shots

Shout Out’s: 

- The guy at the immigration booth for holding up a line because you wanted my phone number O.o 

- Girls on the bus, for not knowing what the name of the resort was either. 

- American Airlines for keeping the liquor coming 

- Montego Bay airport for playing Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me” in baggage claim. 

- My roommate Jessica for being calmer than I was for spending a small fortune, only to find out our room only had a king bed.

The Drinking Diaries:

Hangovers after a Hanson concert are something I try to avoid, but with free booze, old and new friends sharing my evening the enviable becomes the reality. Nevertheless, waking up and hearing the ocean out your door as you walk 20ft to a 24 hour coffee bar then another 20 ft. to have one of the many bartenders add liquor to your coffee then take a shower in a beautiful bathroom with a ocean view just before going to tie dye on the beach with Taylor Hanson and drink mimosas seems to have been the cure for this girls hangover. 

Camp Hanson: 

Waiting for Taylor to appear for tie dying is kinda like that moment in the movie Willie Wonka when they are on the boat and it keeps rowing never knowing where it’s going . When he did appear I’m pretty sure all logical thoughts flew out the window on everyone’s part. Shocker.  

Taylor should have just formed a single file line and taken a picture with everyone before tie dying started. So we could get that distraction out of the way and move into the part where I managed to dye my hands totally purple. 

My table decided to not follow the instructions and tie-dye boobs in our shirts, I have to give the Aussies credit for this brilliant idea! And yes folks this is the level of maturity all the free booze at BTTI brought out. When Taylor came to visit our table, he caught on really quick to our free styling and then asked if he could take a picture of our creations.  Not going to deny I wish I could have a least seen the picture he took to double-check I didn’t make the “Taylor-Hanson-is-in-front-of-me” face. 

Side note: 

I have to say I never thought in my entire life I would be having a conversation with Taylor Hanson about boobs and why it was necessary to tie dye them in shirts. 

Bracelet making with Zac:

I don’t know where to start, I sorta craft, but according to Zac Hanson my bracelet wasn’t very pretty and he informed me he would be totally ok with me going to buy one at the gift shop and giving him credit for it. In my defense I never made friendship bracelets in school for my friends, we did the whole heart lockets and matching Doc Martins thing instead. 

Side Note: When I got home I watched a couple of YouTube videos and re did my bracelet. I knew I could do it, just not while Zac Hanson was watching. 

Isaac’s activity:

Entertaining always. Paul McDonald was a nice touch to the activity, yet the whole thing felt very disconnected. Isaac was on a stage, unlike Taylor and Zac’s activity that were far more personable. As I sat there listening to Isaac read the trivia questions I was sorta bothered that he stayed on stage the whole time.

Maybe Taylor and Zac set the bar so high in their activities that when Isaac didn’t interact with anyone but the two people called on stage it was a bit of a let down. I don’t know exactly what I was expecting, but as I watched Isaac and Paul leave with an entourage consisting of resort staff and their crewmembers it left an unsatisfied taste. The questions weren’t difficult but they did however require using my brain and I was on vacation therefore my brain was left back in Dallas.

Rained out:

He slayed broken angel and almost had me in tears with bitter sweet , and I can’t stand that song that’s how I know it was a kick booty set! Plus watching Zac having to Google his lyrics during his solo set was a pretty priceless moment to witness.

Then the truly crappy thing happen that was really beyond anyone’s control, the main show got postponed due to weather. It was just a tiny bit of lightening and I still don’t see why they couldn’t move the show inside ,It really was such a let down , but you can’t argue with the weather.

The silver lining was Zac personally came on the beach to delivered the news. My friends and I drank our sorrows away into the night. See how the whole all-inclusive thing can become the only way I ever want to travel ever again?

Shout Outs:

-Zac for keeping things classy coming to tell us yourself about the postponed show 

- Taylor for the wanting to give me a high five when my hands looked like I just took out Barney. 

-The Bartenders for keeping the drinks coming 

-The Grill for when you just want a burger at 2am. 

-Megan for late night talks.

-Paola for having the best bug spray ever.  

Favorite Drinks:

-Emeralds 

-Dirty Bananas 

-Strawberry with rum and a bunch of other stuff 

Day three I think: 

Back to clear skies but enough humidity to make my hair a real contender for auditioning to take Diana Ross’s place in the Supremes. We spent the day laying on the beach and enjoying the waiter bring us drinks! 

We did manage to take a brief glass bottom boat ride and splash around in the ocean before making our way to listen to Taylors solo set. Which was such a blur. I remember every word being played as a solo then a hair flip happen and well , there was face fur and a gun show in a tie dyed shirt, lets just say I’m weak and so glad my friends got video cos I have no idea after that what he played. 

R&R Repeat:

Instead of an acoustic set the guys changed the show to the R&R tour covers I loved the covers night during R&R, primarily for selfish reasons, there’s no jumping except during Zacs closing number. Therefore the chances of me looking like my normal sweaty hot mess with kung-fu panda eyes where my waterproof mascara decides to run after a typically Hanson show substantially decreases. The fact was I was really looking forward to a old school acoustic and was pretty bummed it was changed.  But back-to-back U2 covers and Zac climbing stuff, Isaac slaying a cover of stand by me made up for it, a little.

Shout outs:

- Mini bars in rooms

- Taylor Hanson for not screwing up his hair before BTTI

- Lisa Turner for being the best photographer on the Island

- The pizza place for the pizza that I’m still seeing in my dreams and on my ass

- Nilene for laughing till we had tears that we were sitting in the rain under a tarp.

Fav Drink:

-Jamaica Rum in Pepsi 

-Emeralds 

- Jamaica shots in the morning 

Picture day:

It is a proven fact that you will never in your life feel more unattractive then when you’re having your picture taken with Isaac, Taylor and Zac Hanson. It’s the one moment you’ll wish you hadn’t had that Yolo meal 3 months ago, the one time your hair doesn’t cooperate and you suddenly start regretting your outfit choice. In less than 30 seconds you’ll swear off white bread and start a pinterest board devoted to outfits you’ll wear if you ever get a chance again at a photo with all three guys. Even if you know you slayed it , once you see the pictures you start picking apart every detail. We can’t help it; it’s our human nature 

Side Note :I did make sure I had a few shots before but out of all the things that could have gone wrong everything went pretty smooth. I didn’t fall on my ass and I didn’t say something retarded like “ I like frogs” Whew !

Total Request Live aka Isaac’s Solo Set:

I’m going to cut the small talk and just get right to it. Having given his set some thought and comparing it with Zac and Taylor’s, it was clear to me that all three Hanson fall short when they have the spotlight only on them for longer than one song. They need the security of having each other on stage to make the show flow. 

I had no idea what was going on that caused Isaac to start 45 mins late for his set. Gigs starting late are not a rare occurrence. Certainly not an uncommon thing for Hanson either, at least apologize for the tardiness, Sadly Isaac forgot a simply apology goes a long way, instead he made a joke that bombed. 

I’m not sure what surrounded Isaacs’s impromptu decision to let the crowd take control of his set but I have very mixed feelings about it. On one hand the artist should maintain professionalism but on the other hand it made Isaac that much more human and less Isaac Hanson. Which for a change was kind of nice to see him in a less than perfect light. 

I will say I think the relationship between fans and Hanson is a difficult one. As fans, we expect so much of them and Hanson’s ability to fulfill those expectations often falls inevitably short. That being said , it was my favorite of the solo sets. I enjoy less than perfect, I like that he listen to his fans and graced us with a never before heard song. 

In the End: 

The last show was full of energy and everyone around me had an amazing time. But that’s where it sorta stopped. The afterparty was a real let-down, not music selection wise, but just compared to what previous BTTI had portrayed via YouTube clips and the stories told along with the pictures posted. I thought that they guys would relax a little and maybe some crazy dancing would go down or costumes or I don’t know something noteworthy. Instead Zac tweeted his usual see ya next year tweet signaling he wasn’t going to be around later to say goodbye to, Isaac stayed back at the bar and Taylor ended up cutting the party short. I hate to be negative but the afterparty was the worst afterparty I have ever been to. People were more concerned about pictures of Taylor and getting pictures with Isaac that when a fan jumped on stage it was clear that I should have skipped it to get some rest before my flight the next day. Honesty, that’s tough for me to say considering I can typically find a way to have fun in any situation. It’s not that it differed than any other afterparty in format, it was just missing something and I can’t put my finger on it. 

Final thought:

I found my self-falling in love all over again with this band and their music. I’d like to think the free booze had a lot to do with the love bubbles, but that wasn’t even a factor.

Whatever I lost some how I found on the beach in Jamaica. Then I ran into Zac in the airport, no makeup, in a tank top, yoga pants and flip flops with a Matt Wertz sweatshirt tied around my waist and Jackie wearing a R&R tour shirt. Can’t win them all right? 

Shout Outs:

-To my new and old friends …..Words cannot express how much your friendships have meant to me. I feel truly blessed to have met each of you and call you friend. 

- To my favorite band, from what felt like a blizzard in April and a mist of doubt to having a different perception in 5 days. Thank you. 

- Billi for dancing like you don’t care at the after party with me, you’re a rockstar. 

-Cecilia: the box of chocolates was a great snack on the flight home, you’re a doll!

- Jackie Team Ugly Bracelets 4 life

  

Verdict :

I’m glad to be home……I  had to stop drinking or I would have needed a liver transplant .